1. |
Sissy Fuss
02:35
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Too many times I would walk away from people in my life with a chance to become anchors to the ground when I’m feeling numb. I’m falling into the in-between. Thinking of the perfect line to say while at the same time trying to stay away. Standing at the split in the road today, suspended between myself and me.
I run right (like the crow flies) to the wrong decision every time. I’m climbing the same mountain but a boulder brings me down. Every time I turn around, I know I’ll end underground.
Shrapnel flying everywhere and somehow I get hit. It’s looking less and less like luck and there’s no way to quit. Every night I hold my head in my hands between my knees. I think about what we could be in sleepless dreams that come to me.
Two directions follow me in the dark. Two directions pull me back to the start. Two directions pull me back to the start, but I know that there’s no way I can keep them apart.
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2. |
The Balancing Act
04:05
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Your eyes are growing tired; they’re growing old. Can’t focus on me now, or did you ever? Lost track of time but found a place called home; a place that you can’t leave, but only enter.
Anticipating; no use complaining, but I’ve held you up for far too long and too high. I’m nearly breaking, not used to straining. Efforts uneven, it’s been too many times.
The scales are tipping, leaning to one side ‘cause oranges and apples never measure. And distance only tells how far you’ve gone; not your destination or direction. You look just fine, must be the smile. Don’t cross the line; it’s been a while.
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3. |
Bricks Upon Bricks
03:10
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Every now and then, I remember what I’m missing; what I’ve waited for all of these years but never received. Breaking me down and then building me up again, but I never get built up as high. It never feels right.
Hear this one more time: I’m alright without you. What you give is fine if you call it giving at all.
Emptiness haunting me, filling you up with regret. Did you catch me when I took the fall, or after it all? Bricks upon bricks built a wall while you paid your dues ‘cause I learned to be comfortable with or without you. I wish you were there from the start.
Hear me one last time; I’m just fine without you, washed in guilt and lies. It was never giving at all.
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4. |
Done With It
04:18
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My foot’s been numb for hours, waiting on a sound. I need to call you out but I can’t speak up, no I can’t, I just can’t. Silence is overwhelming, just amplified breaths. I need to let this out, I can’t bring myself to, I can’t, I just can’t.
I’m sick of being content with discontent. I’m done with picking up your mess. I’m tired of needing someone’s helping hand. I’m making my own happiness.
My expectations backfire. How could I have known if you just keep your mouth shut? You can’t stay quiet, you can’t, you just can’t. I’m giving all that I have with nothing in return. I can’t keep trying like this ‘cause now I’m nothing, ‘cause now I’m nothing.
I’m tired for being disappointed. I’m tired of unmet expectations. I’m tired of letting myself down and feeling down. We’re tired of being disappointed. We’re tired of unmet expectations. We’re tired of letting ourselves down and feeling down.
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5. |
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Sitting on old benches, talking silently, reminds me of the times you weren’t worth a thing to me. When evening falls, my head goes on ‘bout who I was back then; when I’d toss and turn in bed just trying to sleep.
I’m not good at starting over. I’m not quick with healing either. Like a stone falls until it hits the ground, I’ll slowly drown.
Swinging back and forth on flimsy rubber held by chains takes me back to innocence where I could’ve stayed. You built the Berlin Wall between us, higher every day, ‘til you lost control or just got too afraid.
I’ve laid it out; I’ve laid it out once and for all. I’m laying this; I’m laying this poor thing to rest
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